Lesner Can't Even Save Hell In A Cell...

                                                    


So, the WWE rumor-mill has a possible Brock Lesner return for this Sunday's Hell In a Cell, to help CM Punk retain his championship against the intimidating Ryback. Sure, this sounds like an exciting surprise to an overall lack-luster card...but it makes no sense.

Okay, Punk being a "Paul Heyman Guy" aligns him ith the other Heyman guy, Lesner. And a Lesner-Ryback match-up seems a bit intriguing, even though Ryback's too fast rise to the top of the WWE heap troubles me. I mean, this is Brock Lesner. And he is coming back for Ryback? And coming back for Ryback so he can make sure CM Punk retains the WWE title? Why would he want anyone to have the title besides himself?

With that said, and even though it is a lame segway, I feel certain this will happen. Why? Because the Hell in a Cell card is not worth the PPV price tag. Hell, it's not even Monday Night Raw worthy. Let's break this down match by match...

1) Randy Orton Vs Alberto Del Rio...Why is Del Rio still relevant...or better yet when will the WWE realize he is not. This is a Smackdown match at best.

2) Kofi Kingston Vs. The Miz... Okay, I love Kingston as much as the next person, and it about time the WWE gives this talent his due....but The Miz? I'd much rather see Dolph Ziggler and Kingston....but, since Ziggler does little else but hold on to that Money in the Bank briefcase these days, I can see why this feud hasn't made it to the forefront.

3) Team Hell No vs Rhodes Scholars. The team of Bryan/Kane is a much-needed comedy relief to the current, very long-winded three hour Raw episodes...and have the talent to back it up. Daniel Bryan impresses me more and more. The skill level of Hell No should make this no-brainer, but the WWE has to pretend that Sandow and Rhodes are compatible. (and besides the pathetic Prime Time Players seem to be the only other "heel" team around to face the crowd-loving Hell No team- and no one needed to see that)

4) Shaemus Vs Big Show...This feud was pulled out of thin air, and just reads forced every week we have to swallow it. Big Show just doesn't cut it as the heel anymore. Shaemus should win this one, and retain his title...it is really not a match people really seem to care about...and that is a big problem at the end of the PPV day.

Finally, the big one....CM Punk Vs. Ryback...which, I already covered...Lesner's return to spoil this match and set up a more fitting feud between himself and Ryback (yet giving up any belt hopes) will be how Punk keeps this title. Because there is no way Ryback should hold it.

So, is a possible Lesner's rumored return enough to help people want to buy into to this mess of a card? Not for me...but definitely enough for me to tune into the recently very-boring Monday Night Raw the next night.

Possible Opponents for CM PUNK?

Okay, I just read The Bleacher Report's article on possible opponents for CM PUNK at Hell In a Cell because John Cena, the WWE's seemingly only go-to title shot contender, is hurt. I would list the writer's name, but to tell you the truth I'm too embarassed of his picks to do that.

The only credible one on the list of 5 is Big Show. Why not? Before disappearing off the face of the WWE universe about a month or so ago, he was a huge contender (no pun intended), and in a major beef with both Punk and Cena. Why not give the big man a shot? His time is ticking.

Now to the other ridiculous options: (going from the yawn to the ludacris):

1. Rey Mysterio....Really? Now, I know he's a kid-pleaser and a main "good guy", but seriously? That's is like a third card match on any Monday Night Raw. Thinking of it puts me in a dream-like trance. Yawn.

2. Alberto Del Rio....I just don't know how this guy is continuously considered a top contender. His schtick is old, and quite frankly annoying. His skills are adequate, but he is no show-stopper. To me, Del Rio just isn't main event material. I just have to convince this to Vince McMahon.

3. Triple H....WTF? At this point in the article I was sure the writer may have been deep into a bowl of really intense weed. The Paul Heyman line of reasoning is ridiculous. Maybe the whole Brett Hart/ Cena/ Punk failed on-mike showdown where the WWE couldn't stop force-feeding us the parallels between the Hart/Shawn Micheals and Cena/Punk rivalry. Which would maybe bring in HHH to finally settle the King of Kings is better than HBK debate by defeating the new HBK in Punk because we all know the real HBK isn't coming back anytime soon. Yes, a huge stretch, like lycra over a fat lady's thighs.

4. The Undertaker????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Doesn't this guy realize the WWE has to reserve this guy for Wrestlemania? What the hell kind of feud could possibly be construed to get these guys in a match? A very lame and far-fetched one indeed.


Putting so much faith in Cena year after year has proven to be risky for the WWE. Until now, he always seemed to be up for the task. Time to start putting more eggs in the squared-circle basket.
So, who would I say is the best contender? Seeing The rock is being saved for The Royal Rumble....I would have to say.....

-  Sheamus...why not? Title versus title, that and Punk's bowing out of the match on Labor Day just adds feul to the fire. I think this would be a very worthy top-notch Hell In a Cell Match....and believable. At this point, the WWE really has little or no other option....well, one that doesn't suck, I mean. *cough* Del Rio *cough*....

If we only had Jeff Hardy back....now, him and Punk would be a damned great match....I know, I'm dreaming (though not for much longer- Hardy's TNA contract is up soon!)....and best of all, I'm not yawning!