Lesner Can't Even Save Hell In A Cell...

                                                    


So, the WWE rumor-mill has a possible Brock Lesner return for this Sunday's Hell In a Cell, to help CM Punk retain his championship against the intimidating Ryback. Sure, this sounds like an exciting surprise to an overall lack-luster card...but it makes no sense.

Okay, Punk being a "Paul Heyman Guy" aligns him ith the other Heyman guy, Lesner. And a Lesner-Ryback match-up seems a bit intriguing, even though Ryback's too fast rise to the top of the WWE heap troubles me. I mean, this is Brock Lesner. And he is coming back for Ryback? And coming back for Ryback so he can make sure CM Punk retains the WWE title? Why would he want anyone to have the title besides himself?

With that said, and even though it is a lame segway, I feel certain this will happen. Why? Because the Hell in a Cell card is not worth the PPV price tag. Hell, it's not even Monday Night Raw worthy. Let's break this down match by match...

1) Randy Orton Vs Alberto Del Rio...Why is Del Rio still relevant...or better yet when will the WWE realize he is not. This is a Smackdown match at best.

2) Kofi Kingston Vs. The Miz... Okay, I love Kingston as much as the next person, and it about time the WWE gives this talent his due....but The Miz? I'd much rather see Dolph Ziggler and Kingston....but, since Ziggler does little else but hold on to that Money in the Bank briefcase these days, I can see why this feud hasn't made it to the forefront.

3) Team Hell No vs Rhodes Scholars. The team of Bryan/Kane is a much-needed comedy relief to the current, very long-winded three hour Raw episodes...and have the talent to back it up. Daniel Bryan impresses me more and more. The skill level of Hell No should make this no-brainer, but the WWE has to pretend that Sandow and Rhodes are compatible. (and besides the pathetic Prime Time Players seem to be the only other "heel" team around to face the crowd-loving Hell No team- and no one needed to see that)

4) Shaemus Vs Big Show...This feud was pulled out of thin air, and just reads forced every week we have to swallow it. Big Show just doesn't cut it as the heel anymore. Shaemus should win this one, and retain his title...it is really not a match people really seem to care about...and that is a big problem at the end of the PPV day.

Finally, the big one....CM Punk Vs. Ryback...which, I already covered...Lesner's return to spoil this match and set up a more fitting feud between himself and Ryback (yet giving up any belt hopes) will be how Punk keeps this title. Because there is no way Ryback should hold it.

So, is a possible Lesner's rumored return enough to help people want to buy into to this mess of a card? Not for me...but definitely enough for me to tune into the recently very-boring Monday Night Raw the next night.

When the commercials are more entertaining than the show...

Yep, I find it happening more and more. And, the thing is, the hilarity is completely unintentional! I'm not talking about the "Where's The Beef", "I Love You Man"- type commercials that make admen break their arms patting themselves on the back. No, that would be too damned easy. And believe my husband, I would never make anything easy.

My fascination began with the macabre pharmaceutical commercials. The cure-alls, that then rattle off a laundry list of potential side-effects from sleeplessness to loss of sexual function to thoughts of suicidal behavior, to possibly making you streak naked and run through your neighborhood with a mega-phone shouting, "I am a Golden God!". Okay, I made the last one up, but is it really that far-fetched? The kicker is the always somber voice-over that instructs the gullible viewer to ask you doctor about whatever Pfizer is selling this week. I may be old-fashioned, but isn't it your doctor's job to figure out what medicines you should be prescribed. Silly me...I thought just the rich had the privilege to request prescriptions.

Now, I move on to the dating site commercials that cushion the two-minute plus breaks between my beloved court shows. You know, like the one where black people meet. My all time favorite is by far the Christian dating site commercial which promises to let God chose a mate for you. Good grief. Really? Okay, let's just for a minute say I believe in religion...Would I seriously buy into the theory that God is signing off on the Christian dating site? If you believe that, you may have been hitting a wee too much of the church wine.

I swear, you can't make this shit up...

RAW = YAWn

                                          

So, the WWE is concerned over the dismal ratings it has received the past couple of weeks. Well, they should be, but, are they really surprised? I had my finger on the fast forward button through about 85% of the show, and let me tell you I was damned grateful for DVR at the time.

What the hell are they doing to CM PUNK? He is even looks bored with the routine at this point. Ever since Heyman came around, this storyline has plummeted. Punk doesn't need a mouthpiece. He's one of the best on-mike talents in the WWE, and has been for some time. I get they needed Heyman to really cement the fact Punk was a heel, but at this point it's like they are force-feeding a toddler spinach. The WWE fans aren't complete morons. Punk, alone, against the WWE  made a more compelling storyline. This is predictably going to end with Ryback kicking Punk's ass...who knows how long that will take. And I'm really not that excited to tune in to find out.

Big Show? Um, what happened to that feud with CM Punk and Cena. All of a sudden, it's Sheamus and Big Show. Yawn. The WWE did a superb job of killing Big Show's fan base. He was much more effective as a good guy. I get it, the WWE is trying to mix things up, trying to get some drama going to make up for the lack of talent and charisma in the locker room. But, let's face it. It just isn't working.

So, what to do? Most likely, bring back a past Super Star. Or pull some aces from their back pocket storage, names like Triple H (but that probably won't happen til closer to Wrestlemania time), The Rock (Royal Rumble Time!), Brock Lesnar (I see this guy going against Ryback)...and maybe the return of Batista, who can eventually also face Lesnar. I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again just for good measure. Please WWE, get Jeff Hardy back when his TNA contract runs out. Pretty please with sugar on top...We'll call it the return of the ratings, as well as a great super star.